You may be thinking you want to give up your virginity. You feel horny, and frustrated, and want to just get IT over with… Or you’re thinking about it.
This is for you.
Yes college age virgins exist, and society is probably going to make you feel awkward about that don’t. I’m here to tell you it’s okay.
“OMG I’m going to be an 18 year old virgin.” Or to my college seniors, being 22+ and never having done ‘it.’
I know that dating is damn near non-existent in today’s hook-up culture.
And it’s hard finding someone who will respect your choices. But they will have to.
**affiliate links are present in this post at no cost to you. Additionally by reading this article you consent that you will contact a sex-health care professional in all cases.
My Advice on Relationships in College
Avoid them at all costs. Stay single. Date heavily. Take no one seriously.
Enjoy companionship but if you’re trying to navigate college dating waters, keep on reading baby…
Giving Away My Virginity at 18
You read that right. I gave it away. I thought I wanted to not be virgin anymore but all I gained was a lot of heartbreak and distractions, after a short while I was able to balance the tables. The advice in this post is full of my bias, but it’s the real truth.
My then boyfriend and I met when I was a freshmen in college. He knew I was a virgin and he waited. He actually was a worse tease than me. But I’m saying we discussed that I would change my mind when I was ready.
It is very important to not allow yourself to feel pressured by anyone!!!
- Before sex, get your HIV and STD paperwork back as negative
- Ask for a RECENT copy from your partner.
- Don’t allow his ‘blue balls’ to guilt trip you
- Use a condom (Allergic to latex? Use Lambskin but it doesn’t protect against STDs)
- Pick a birth control you are comfortable with; read on mine here.
Set Boundaries Before you Begin ‘Talking’
Know that if you don’t want to have sex; you don’t have to say why.
Before college I had thought I would remain chaste until marriage, but I didn’t. I gave my virginity to the first guy that actually showed me what I thought affection was.
Granted, I was smart in my choice as well. I chose a partner who had more experience than me, and one that would be patient and LISTEN.
Yes, losing your virginity hurts and it is still embarrassing at any age, no matter your comfort level with your partner.
Best advice is for you and your partner to engage in a lot of foreplay before hand. If you are tense and nervous, ‘she’ will be too.
Then, use condoms, and already have a Plan B ready in your medicine cabinet just in case the condom broke. To check, fill it with water afterwards, check for leaks.
Read How I Got free Birth C. while in college.
I still agree that abstaining from sex is the best method for safe sex, and here’s what no one tells women.
What I Wish Women Had Told Me About Sex
Sex can be a very emotionally attaching experience for women.
Great sex can feel a lot like love.
Imagine the affection you had for a guy that you never had sex with, adding lust might kill you. If you already find yourself liking a guy, or girl, great sex will make you want it more. You’ll think about it all the time. Women are sexual creatures who desire pleasure just as frequently as men. That is okay.
Breakups and Cheating Happens Often in College
It hurts and it leaves you asking ‘why wasn’t I enough?’
Sex can, especially if you feel a connection to that person, lead to feelings getting in the way of your school work and social life.
It is VERY distracting. Once you get it, its true what they say about raging hormones. At first, when I started, I didn’t want to stop. All the years of wondering, and research, and questions came at the front of my mind every time me and my then bf locked eyes.
We didn’t care. Anywhere, anytime, anyhow. That is apart of college: learning and experimentation. God bless the ears of my poor roommate. Yes, I became THAT roommate…oh well my roommate still loves me. Shout out to you T.
What I discovered
I hate condoms, and I use them anyway. (Lambskin for latex allergies)
- If you use a condom BUT you’re not fully wet, and turned on before he enters, you may bleed.
- Summer’s Eve and feminine hygiene products like it, are ONLY if you need help with an already existing problem.
- Organic raw coconut oil inside the vagina can cure yeast infections
- Use KY brand unscented and non-flavored jelly as lubricant, it has no taste and is GYNO approved 😉
- Best Birth-Control that didn’t upset my stomach, and didn’t give me many crazy side effects was Nuvaring. Seriously, best Baby-Blocker I’ve found so far.
- I tracked sex, and my period with the Spot on App. It’ll even give you tips on how to avoid pregnancy + REAL sex facts.
The Point Is
It is your choice whether you lose your virginity or you give it away.
I have heard of parents forcing a contraceptive method on their daughters from fear of her getting pregnant.
Birth control and abortion is your personal choice and neither should be forced on, nor withheld from you.
How to ‘Date’ in College Hook-Up Culture
Date for fun, not for the one.
Literally, be fully honest with any new person you meet. Explain that you don’t want anything serious, only fun.
Be careful not to sound like dates and sex is all you want.
The Key to Dating in College is Honesty
If sex is all you want, and the other person catches feelings…tell them why you can’t be friends anymore and move on to the next.
I’m not saying use people. Never that. That’s bad, and bad karma.
Instead build real connections that don’t always involve sex.
My best friendships are old college lovers, or old flames.
Hygiene After Sex
- Urinate as soon as you can after sex to flush your urethra. Women have shorter urethras than men, making it easier for us to get infections.
- Use ‘after sex’ feminine wipes or a warm towel to wipe off
- Then shower
The best way to shave and avoid razor bumps, and the ‘dark skin’ that accompanies is said by some to be sugaring.
Follow Athena’s Purse on Pinterest for more natural suggestions
To Shave ‘Her’ Properly
- Bathe with Dove Soap as normal (never use body washes, nor lotion near your vagina)
- Exfoliate the area briefly to remove dead skin and hair
- Wet area, and lather shaving cream
- Use men razors, or any 2 blade razor (more is NOT always better)
- Use short strokes, going in the SAME direction as the hair
- Afterwards, apply a thin layer of coconut oil
Word to the Wise: Coconut oil can be used to treat yeast infections, lighten dark skin and more.
Be responsible for your own health. Get checkups every 6 months.
Before sex, get your HIV and STD paperwork back as negative and ask for a RECENT copy from your partner.
These tips and advice probably arent what you thought I would say and I’m not an expert on sex, or women’s health.
Just one woman’s words of wisdom
Yes I am a Christian and I am aware of the religious implications of premarital sex, and birth-control.
Athena is the virgin Goddess of wisdom, strategy, and poetry.
This post hit two out of three, you choose if it hits home.
Please feel free to share this, the people this would help are probably too embarrassed to say so. And feel free to DM me if you need a big-sister to help answer any questions.